August 2009

August 18, 2009 · 3 comments

If I Were Courting Someone, They’d Date The Bejesus Out Of Me After This Mix

I’m wondering if someday my game will be entirely ruined by the fact that the only thing I know how to do is meet girls, give them mixtapes, and then lunge at them awkwardly at inopportune times to makeout. It’s working so far, in terms of 2-6 month relationships followed by me being overly sensitive ...

Read the full article →

August 18, 2009 · 7 comments

It’s Like Twilight, But They Actually Have Sex

So because hanging out with people is overrated and it’s a much better strategic move to just hang out with and develop relationships with fake characters in complex fake plotlines, I watch a good deal of television. Considering I just pissed off about 94 people from the mission yesterday, I’m assuming this is the part ...

Read the full article →

August 17, 2009 · 14 comments

Dolores Park, Swingsets, and Bad Parenting

I was hanging out this afternoon in Dolores Park and a few things dawned on me: Dolores Park is essentially the crowd for a Phish show that has no idea that Phish is not coming. And that they are not at a concert venue. And that it is, in fact, not legal to do drugs ...

Read the full article →

August 13, 2009 · 5 comments

Are you my ex-girlfriend? Call me!

I was talking to my friend Lesley today going over plans for the evening to go to one of my ex’s going away party (I use the term “ex” loosely, as I pretty much just blew it and then we stopped talking before we were actually dating, and now it’s just really awkward when we ...

Read the full article →

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →

very seriously copyrighted by andrew hoolhorst. who won't like you if you steal things. stop it.

site design by shatterboxx.


Warning: include(wp-includes/links.php) [function.include]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/drewber/drewhoolhorst.com/wp-content/themes/thesis_18/index.php on line 12

Warning: include() [function.include]: Failed opening 'wp-includes/links.php' for inclusion (include_path='.:/usr/local/lib/php:/usr/local/php5/lib/pear') in /home/drewber/drewhoolhorst.com/wp-content/themes/thesis_18/index.php on line 12