Rocket Shoes

My alarm clock goes off. Presumably on my iPhone 4, because it's very important to me that I own the latest technology. I hit snooze. I can't believe I have to get up by 9 a.m. to make it to my place of work before 10 a.m. where I am paid to be creative and knowledgeable about "the internet," just in general.

I check Twitter.

I check Facebook.

I casually thumb through emails I've received since going to bed. I should have received something from Groupon, Livingsocial, Scoutmob and Gilt Groupe if I'm really late for work.

I take a shower. While doing so, I begin to wonder why I'm so bad at saving money. I then use my Bumble & Bumble shampoo and follow up with Kiehl's face wash. I get out of the shower.

I check Twitter.

I check Facebook.

I check-in to my apartment on Foursquare, which I've named something cute and clever because for some reason I think people actually care what I call my apartment on a mobile application named after a children's playground game. They don't. I just wanted the mayorship, let's be honest.

When I am getting ready, I decide between my Salvation Army/Buffalo Exchange purchased t-shirt that I'm so proud of (because it features the name of some business I've never heard of, yet it also has a great "worn a lot" consistency that I yearn for) and my J. Crew oxford. In no way do I find this ironic for some reason.

Before leaving, I peer out of the one window in my outlandishly priced studio apartment, whose price i'm okay with as it's "just how San Francisco prices are" to see how the weather is. It is sunny, but I also know this means that it's probably 52 degrees with a wind chill of "you're freezing, why the fuck didn't you wear a coat." I do not bring a coat, as though trying to prove to the weather that I'm above it's crafty trickery. I will regret this later.

Before I go, I pack my black rimmed Ray-Ban eyeglasses and put on my Ray-Ban sunglasses. I then pack my Macbook Pro, iPad, iPhone and Kindle into my Chrome messenger bag. The Timbuk2 bag is too small and makes my collarbone hurt because I didn't splurge for the shoulder guard. These are things that I'm actually concerned about.

I walk to the Bart station, which is about 3 blocks from my house.

I check Twitter.

I check Facebook.

I check-in to BART on Foursquare, because everyone needs to know that I'm about to take public transportation. Which is kind of like the equivalent to doing something mundane, like taking a sip of a drink and telling everyone about it. Actually? I'll probably check into somewhere for this reason later. To be fair: I've heard if you check into BART 10 times you get the "Trainspotter" badge. I don't know why this is important to me. But it is. I need that badge.

I see someone doing something weird on BART. Probably a homeless guy or a drug addict or something, which are usually mutually exclusive. I'll probably tweet about that. I can't now: no service. But I'll remember to when I get off at my stop. I bet people would love to read a humorous anecdote like that, maybe it will make their bad morning a little funnier or something.

I forget to tweet that, but forget that I forgot that.

I think about how it must suck to be homeless, because I really love not being homeless.

Around the Powell stop, I begin to play Angry Birds. I can't beat one level, and it's driving me nuts. Ultimately, I'd settle for one star. That's how bad this one has gotten.

I think about grabbing a Peet's Coffee before I walk to work. I realize it's like 2 bucks, and I totally lost my mayorship to that guy and I'm way behind now, anyway, so forget it. Plus, for the same price I could get a pretentious cup of Four Barrel at the place next door to my office. That's way more logical than the unlimited, free coffee at my place of work.

I check Twitter.

I check Facebook.

I get to work. I have a bowl of organic cereal with organic milk. A few people ask me if I'm hungover. For some reason in my profession, being drunk almost all of the time is hilarious and oddly endearing. It's part of being "creative." To be fair, it's a fair question: odds are I'm hungover the majority of the time.

I go to my desk. I check a few websites that tell me about the things I need to know, in order of importance:

1) Has a celebrity died or cheated on their spouse?

2) Has a celebrity twitter account been "hacked" and were all the pictures of them naked "stolen"?

3) Is there a new viral video I should be talking about?

4) Is there a new band I should have heard about?

5) Check Twitter.

6) Check Facebook.

7) Wait, check Twitter again. Yep, I'm gonna re-tweet that joke that guy said.

8 ) Wait, now has a celebrity died or cheated on their spouse?

After I've checked the important stuff, I do some work.

I go to the kitchen to see if anyone is there to talk about any viral videos we've seen. Maybe we'll even discuss an old film we liked. Like The Mighty Ducks. I loved The Mighty Ducks. Did you love The Mighty Ducks? We talk about how Muni is terrible. Because it is. Muni is terrible.

I check Twitter.

I check Facebook.

I do some more work. I attend meetings. They seem really long. Someone says something funny, though, so it's okay.

On a conference call, someone we're talking to says a buzz-word like "synergy." We put it on mute and make fun of them.

I check Twitter.

I check Facebook.

I get lunch at some place that is overpriced. I check in to their establishment on Foursquare.

When I return to work, I will sign up for a social networking site that is new. It will involve:

1) Taking artsy pictures and sharing them with people.

2) Telling people about the music I'm listening to.

3) Telling people what I'm doing, right now, this instant, right now, this instant, no seriously, right now.

4) Telling people what I've eaten.

5) Doing all four of these things at once while then distrubuting this to Twitter, Facebook and Foursquare.

It's probably a site made by a guy who knows a guy that I know. I'll be jealous that he was smart enough to make this. I will presumably use said new social network about 14 times and then I will never use it again. But I'll be able to let people know that, yeah, I've used that. I found it hard to get into.

I'll Google something weird. I'll wonder why so many other people are Googling that. I'll know, because when I entered it into Google, it finished my sentence. People are funny. Wait, now I'm creeped out by how smart Google is.

I'll think about the movie Terminator and wonder if we're actually going to be overthrown by robots. Then I'll realize that's silly. Then I'll Google "world overthrown by robots: possible?"

I'll do a little more work. I will send emails. I will read a pdf or two.

I check Twitter.

I check Facebook.

I will go home and be annoyed that Muni is so inefficient. I'll tweet that, but in a funny way that is both relatable and honest.

Why didn't I wear my f*#%ing coat?

On my walk home, I'll consider buying a bottle of wine for when I'll be writing ideas for work later. I'll just have one glass.

I'll look at Sutro Tower. I'll feel lucky to be paying too much money for a very small apartment, because San Francisco is worth it in these tiny little moments.

I get home and call a few friends. We talk about how we want to travel. We'll probably have a few locations in our back pockets that no one would see coming. We're so interesting.

I'll go out for a drink with a friend at a dive bar. It will probably ironically have very expensive beers. That will seem off, but I'll just go with it.

I will read up on the news just in case anyone ever asks if I know about the world. It will go like this:

1) A country is at war, and I don't know anything about that country. Wait, shit, that's just a city. I thought that was a country? Wow. That's a bummer on a lot of levels.

2) Something is on fire in San Francisco somewhere.

3) Baby pandas are adorable! Oh my god, why haven't I ever been to see the pandas?

4) Blah blah blah Kate and William blah blah blah.

5) A large financial corporation did something shady, and they are having a confusing trial about it.

I watch an independent film that I heard about, it's supposed to be really good.

I will have a second glass of wine . Shoulda seen that one coming.

I check Twitter.

I check Facebook.

My alarm clock goes off. Presumably on my iPhone 4. I hit snooze...

Rocket Shoes Mixtape 48: Music For A Day In The Life Of The Modern San Franciscan

Stream the whole thing at that link above.

Or.

Download the entire thing in adorable little MP3′s right here.

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159 COMMENTS ON THIS POST To “A Day in the Life of the Modern San Franciscan”

  • Amy --- Just A Titch

    July 12, 2011 at 8:18 pm

    Posts like this are why I love the fuck out of your blog. Also? I do this shit in your neighbor to the north, Sacramento, except get rid of those meetings and shit and insert my pride about being a teacher in an impoverished area and bitching about the lack of service at my school when most of my kids don’t have food at home. I think this is the 20-something’s life.

  • leah

    July 12, 2011 at 8:40 pm

    bumble & bumble!!! and kiehls! i’m dying. you have good taste.

    • sam

      July 27, 2011 at 8:46 am

      please don’t take this the wrong way, and get offended, but are you serious or joking?

      • upgrayedd

        August 19, 2011 at 12:53 pm

        Poe’s law is in full effect with regards to these hipstards here my friend. This shit is fucking hilarious.

  • Mom

    July 12, 2011 at 8:52 pm

    maybe my favorite ever, a little unlike you, not quite so much sarcasm, beautifully written and thought out, as always so proud of you and your talent
    Who else love u D

    • me too

      August 19, 2011 at 1:30 pm

      I agree with your mom- lovely! haha I am going to escape this though… I’m moving to bangkok people, I will say I am over it, and then at about the 4th month, I will crave all the stuff I think annoys me and spend ridiculous rent to have a job here! :)

  • Lindsay

    July 12, 2011 at 8:54 pm

    Love it, and I agree with Amy – it kind of is the 20-something’s life these days, in almost any city!

    I couldn’t stop nodding and laughing and smiling at this. And what did I do? Linked to it on Google+ (yay new social networks!) and tweeted it…from my MacBook. And now I’m setting the alarm on my iPhone 4 for the morning.

    I’m really just missing the wine. (Well, that and a job.)

    • smartiepop

      August 2, 2011 at 10:12 pm

      Your belief that this is almost any 20 something in any city shows your deep lack of interaction with people outside of your race, social class, and region. Just thought you should know that. It needed to be said.

      • fax

        August 4, 2011 at 9:54 pm

        It did need to be said. Especially since I read all of it and was satisfied that I was only *kind of* like that. Then get to your comment and do a mental double take.

  • ameena

    July 12, 2011 at 10:37 pm

    yup, it’s official: I want your life. I’ll start by checking Twitter…and Facebook.

  • Sharron

    July 12, 2011 at 10:41 pm

    ‘I bet people would love to read a humorous anecdote like that, maybe it will make their bad morning a little funnier or something.’

    You just did that with this post. UK time sees me getting up to go to my work, where I am paid to do less of the cool stuff you talk about here. This has made me smile, thank you internet and thank you Drew.

  • Jules

    July 12, 2011 at 11:25 pm

    you’re good. you’re really good.

  • tara

    July 12, 2011 at 11:40 pm

    Move back to menlo. I would take you to Hanky Panky. We would have the good times.

    • Shutter

      July 14, 2011 at 11:10 am

      Hanky Panky +1 nasssssty

  • Shepard Wallace

    July 13, 2011 at 12:11 am

    Great post Drew. Hope things are good at Mek.
    Shep

  • Nolan

    July 13, 2011 at 1:07 am

    As an SF native, this is anything but a day in the life of the modern San Franciscan. Day in the life of a try-hard hipster, yes, that’s a guarantee. But San Franciscan? No. I’m mildly offended by this post, but hey, gotta deal with the heat sometimes.

    • Kevin Montgomery

      July 13, 2011 at 10:23 am

      I agree, Drew should know that *real* San Franciscans don’t check Facebook anymore. Twitter, Tumblr, maybe Google+ if we commute down to the Valley everyday.

      For shame.

      • Chuck Han

        July 15, 2011 at 9:40 am

        The beauty of this post (and yours) is that it is outdated the minute that it is put up. But that’s the point, right? :-)

    • daisy

      July 13, 2011 at 10:49 am

      I know. Sarcasm is *so* confusing.

      • ilene, linz mom!

        September 17, 2011 at 11:01 am

        Ilove you! You are soooo clever and hilarious! Thank you for being part of my
        family. Can’t wait to see you again! Drew, YOU ARE THE BEST!!! ilene

    • Andi warholic

      July 15, 2011 at 11:11 am

      Bah Humbug!! Native San Franciscans are positively annoying! You think that just because you never moved anywhere and experienced the world it makes you special.
      Also, try to find a sense of humor, she’s just trying to inject a little humor into our lives and it actually is pretty close to how a lot of people live.

      • Mark

        July 15, 2011 at 12:38 pm

        yeah, a lot of loser people

  • Drea

    July 13, 2011 at 11:07 am

    On behalf of my brother: “Thank God I didn’t get the Ray-Ban eyeglasses.”

  • Casi a.k.a. @SFnoobs

    July 13, 2011 at 12:08 pm

    This is so true in every way imaginable. I <3 San Francisco

  • alyssa

    July 13, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    its..its beautiful

  • Amanda

    July 13, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    amazing

  • Luxurylatte

    July 13, 2011 at 11:26 pm

    Well, I am an SF native as well and I can tell you this was pretty much on point. I loved it, describes a number of my friends and I even saw a little of myself in there. So… chill the eff out and just enjoy the laugh at the Hipsters and their hipster ways.

    • kelly4nia

      July 26, 2011 at 4:43 pm

      Yeah, if there’s enough of them and we’re all here in this city and the ones in and out of it daily, call them hipsters, or SFcans, but they’re all doing this shizz, and that’s who lives in the city. They are the city, the city is us. That’s that. I think those that are most offended maybe are still coming to terms with their asymmetric hair cute, or recent purchase of skinny jeans. It’s ok, they’ll come around soon enough.

  • Tara Hunt

    July 14, 2011 at 5:52 am

    I relate so much to this…except for one thing. Why Peets? What about Blue Bottle? There is a whole couple of awesome paragraphs of waiting in line for ever there to be served by someone rude and spend $5 for a cup of coffee, but it’s so worth it because you are paying for the indie ambience and the chance to spot Jack Dorsey or some other web-ebrity.

    • Drew

      July 14, 2011 at 11:48 am

      Don’t worry. I actually take the time to walk to Cento regularly for this exact reason.

  • Joe Moccia

    July 14, 2011 at 8:48 am

    Four-Square, the sport, is not a child’s playground game, but rather a raw street game only for the most daring of drunken contenders. I’m just saying.

  • former sfer

    July 14, 2011 at 9:00 am

    If you live near sutro tower your rent is dirt cheap. Try the marina or russian hil l- which is still cheap compared to new york. also, no one over the age of 18 (nor do most under the age of 18) shops at buffalo exchange, peets is cheap shit, and who rides the bart OTHER than the homeless??!

    • livedineverycityever

      July 14, 2011 at 10:20 am

      Former Sfer must live in NYC now, probably Brooklyn since he still can’t afford living in the actual city. NYC is so much cooler and more difficult to survive in, which gives him the right to tell other people life isn’t THAT hard because they aren’t in NYC.
      Come on Drew, you only have the right to complain/blog (because they’re usually the same thing) if you are completely miserable and broke in the biggest city in the states. DUH!!!

    • Chris

      July 14, 2011 at 10:43 am

      former sfer be trollin….

      (Marina? Seriously bro?? GTFO haha)

  • Anthea

    July 14, 2011 at 10:04 am

    wow, just have to say your post is genius. LOVE it.

  • guerllmo

    July 14, 2011 at 11:02 am

    The kind of person described in this blog is exactly why I am hightailing it out of this hipster hellhole the first chance I get! :)

    • Amanda

      July 14, 2011 at 1:33 pm

      Good on you. I read this blog entry in a sarcastic way, I mean, surely, no one is so pretentious or that level of douche bag? But based on the comments from followers fawning over this ‘ideal’ life, I feel a bit ill to think assholes like this are real. :Shudder:

  • ChiqueGeek

    July 14, 2011 at 11:16 am

    I love this! Especially since it sounds a lot like a day in the life of me!!
    I’ll definitely be following this blog a little more often =)

  • Real Native

    July 14, 2011 at 11:26 am

    This should be called a day in the life of a transplant hipster living in The City for the first time.

    • esseff

      July 18, 2011 at 10:41 am

      Exactly, I was thinking the same thing. Sounds more like a transplant from the midwest. People in startups sound so uninspiring.

    • SF Native

      July 18, 2011 at 1:37 pm

      Yes, completely agree with Real Native. People come here and think they know what they’re doing.

  • james

    July 14, 2011 at 11:37 am

    douche chills……

    • Zack

      July 19, 2011 at 12:03 pm

      THIS.

  • Derpson

    July 14, 2011 at 11:48 am

    It’s okay to be average.

  • nikki

    July 14, 2011 at 12:30 pm

    This made me so home sick – I laughed and cried all the way through.

    I’m in one of those “creative” type jobs too – only I’m not in SF anymore. (I’m just too cheap and refused to pay the rents anymore – luckily Dad is still there.)

    I do also recall the over-made up trips to the gym and laundry mat – just in case you met someone – ’cause you never know.

    PS: Nice tapes – got a couple new tracks for the pod.

  • scooby

    July 14, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    What about “I check LinkedIn”. HAHA, JUST KIDDING!!!

  • Monk

    July 14, 2011 at 1:46 pm

    Austin, you mean. You DO mean Austin, not San Francisco, right? You almost threw me with the 52 degrees remark, but then I remembered last February it got down to 52 and I forgot my jacket and I was sad/cold.
    But you DO mean Austin. You do.

  • wonderbird

    July 14, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    You probably describe many highly paid San Franciscan…. You pay a premium for your apartment. But won’t buy Timbuk2′s shoulder pad, that’s like $10~20, Peet’s coffee $2. If you cut out a couple of drink in SF, you’d be able to afford that. Anyway that was a fun article, and stop being so cheap and buy what you need first.

  • Jimi

    July 14, 2011 at 2:03 pm

    Very 80′s Bret Easton Ellis. Did you read his article about Charlie Sheen being post-Empire? It is a few months old but you should check it out. Gotta go and check Facebook. Twitter, yeah tried it, couldn’t get into it.

  • EX-SF Designer

    July 14, 2011 at 2:09 pm

    I really wanna bang Leah, she and this article remind me of college.

    • BrianWilson

      July 14, 2011 at 3:32 pm

      +1

    • Rich

      July 16, 2011 at 2:22 pm

      since we’re on this topic…i want to bang daisy.

      • daisy

        July 18, 2011 at 12:01 pm

        Shit. IS NO ONE GOING TO +1 RICK’S COMMENT? ANYONE?????????

  • Jordan

    July 14, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    I need to get a name for my house on foursquare. Im so behind the times.

  • Natasha

    July 14, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    Where does writing blog posts about behaviors you apathetically accept about yourself and will continue doing, fall on that list?

    • Drew

      July 14, 2011 at 3:53 pm

      I’m confused. (read into that, if you’d like.)

    • rachel

      July 22, 2011 at 9:17 pm

      Thank you! I scrolled all the way down this page looking for just one comment that consisted of a real thought! Phew.

  • will

    July 14, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    Well played, sir, well played.

    • Jordan

      July 14, 2011 at 4:08 pm

      I realize this is satire, but it’s still pathetic nonetheless. The funny thing is, all you hipsters think you’re so original and creative but in reality you’re all a bunch of suck-ups who are so concerned about being cool.

      • Nikilips

        July 15, 2011 at 12:33 am

        It’s not cool to be cool, it’s cool to be nerdy.

  • Shane

    July 14, 2011 at 4:53 pm

    Guess I must not be too modern cuz I’ve lived here over a decade and I’m not like that at all, nor would I want to be…

    It’s people like that who are always obliviously walking down the sidewalk paying attention to nothing but their technology… this is also why they are great mugging victims! Although I do get the small joy in knowing that this type of person will always be so self-centered and preoccupied with their own drama that they will never see the world around them.

    Also, I dont mean to sound mean, but you come off a a bit of a hipster douchebag with this article. It sounds like you are pretty spoiled and privileged to me… and I don’t think a lot of people have it as easy as you… You should re-title this article “A Day in the Life of the Cooler than poor people Modern San Franciscan Hipster Tech geek with too much money to spend and not enough social responsibility or morals.”

    • Drew

      July 14, 2011 at 5:17 pm

      You had me until “social responsibility” Shane. Then I got confused.

      Please stop being so angry at the internet. It has feelings, too, you know.

      • Jo Blogs

        July 14, 2011 at 9:05 pm

        The internet… she is listening, you know?

      • Jo Blogs

        July 14, 2011 at 9:07 pm

        This also fits:

        After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say ‘I want to see the manager.’” – William S. Burroughs

    • liz

      July 14, 2011 at 5:18 pm

      um, shane, it’s satire. what is wrong w you?

      drew, some of the comments on this post are ridiculous and people takes themselves too seriously. LOVED this post. One of my favorites ever & great mix tape to boot.

    • Brian

      July 15, 2011 at 9:53 am

      Now that’s some good writing Shane! lol

  • cw

    July 14, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    Hmm. Actually it’s not like that for me at all. What a vapid little cunt you are.

    • mon

      August 19, 2011 at 1:20 pm

      How cool and hip! You used an advanced vocabulary word to sound more intelligent. Hahaha..

    • Really?

      September 28, 2012 at 1:54 pm

      Hmm. No it’s not like that for you is it? It’s more like I’m so bored with my life I’m going to judge someone’s entire being based on one SATIRICAL blog post and call them horrible things for no solid reason.

    • Wow

      September 28, 2012 at 2:00 pm

      Umm. No it’s not like that for you at all is it? It’s more like, I’m so bored with my own life that I judge someone’s entire being on one SATIRICAL blog post, and call them horrible things for no justifiable reason.

  • navonod

    July 14, 2011 at 9:18 pm

    i can’t decide between my north face jacket and my urban outfitters hoodie… but this gingham shirt over a grey vneck is cool, right? i’m going to have a third glass of wine now while i laugh my ass off in pseudo-disbelief that i live in san franciso. lucky me? yep. oh, and fuck muni.

  • M

    July 14, 2011 at 9:20 pm

    Side Note* People! This does not describe a hipster in any way at all!!

    Writer—let people live their damn life. This is the most annoying way to be.

    • mon

      August 19, 2011 at 1:22 pm

      I’m sure EVERYONE now thinks this is what defines a hipster.

      You don’t have to read, you know. Free speech. Let Drew live his damn life.

  • Nate

    July 15, 2011 at 12:53 am

    > Then I’ll Google “world overthrown by robots: possible?”

    I C WUT YOU DID THERE.

  • Michelle

    July 15, 2011 at 4:23 am

    Haha, I love it! Hilarious :)

  • Traci

    July 15, 2011 at 7:12 am

    Hilarious! Well played, sir. I can’t believe people are getting their knickers in a knot over it. Chill the eff out, dudes. Maybe skip the Guatemalan blend at Ritual and get yourself a nice relaxing tea instead. “INTERNETZ IS SRS BZNSS.” Maybe Urban Outfitters sells a novelty “sense of humor” they should pick up… next time they are looking for something ironic, but cute, and slightly overpriced to wear to their friend’s film premiere.

  • Maestra Robin

    July 15, 2011 at 8:05 am

    Almost as hilarious as your post: all the dummies who are standing atop their Bay Area, “I’m-a-REAL-San-Francisco-native” soap boxes to rant about how unlike this they are. Dear Aforementioned Dummies, This is supposed to be funny. You know, like a joke, but more intelligent. Sorry if you are baffled by satire and offended by the word “facebook.” Virtual high-five to Drew for being awesome.

    • Zack

      July 19, 2011 at 12:00 pm

      Here’s the problem, though–this isn’t funny. This isn’t clever. This is just a retread of the same tired fake-self-conscious blather we’ve heard thousands of times. This entire post is a cliche, which might be amusing had the author intended to highlight this fact…no, it would still be vacuous nonsense.

      • Maestra Robin

        July 20, 2011 at 11:52 pm

        Zack, agree to disagree. I’m not here to argue about the author’s intentions, I just like to laugh. If it’s not your cup of tea there are about a million other blogs you could read. Also, I think I’ve only listened to “fake-self-conscious blather” about a hundred times, so I have lots more of that tank to fill.
        Again, virtual high-five to Drew!

  • Ruthie

    July 15, 2011 at 8:31 am

    Great writing. Hilarious! Oddly enough, you have precisely discribed a day of a Tel Avivien…The only adjustments that would have to be done are the brand names …
    Eager to read more,
    Ruthie.
    P.S.
    My husband and I were students in San Francisco and Berkeley in the seventies.

  • Mark

    July 15, 2011 at 8:47 am

    You are amazing.

  • Brian

    July 15, 2011 at 9:49 am

    It’s weird to see the raves about this article in the comments section because I didn’t see anything really funny or cool about it…I guess you have to be a twenty-something to get it…I’ve lived here for over 13 years and believe me that is not a day in my life. Eh.

  • Amber

    July 15, 2011 at 9:55 am

    OMG! Why are you so right! You forgot the Burts Bees toothpaste. Used that about 30 min ago. See? I’m right on schedule. And I love my B&B and Keihl’s. Where would I be without it? hahaha

  • Lucy

    July 15, 2011 at 10:44 am

    I didn’t think I could get more enjoyment out of this post, until I decided to read the comments. People are idiots, the end.

    • Zack

      July 19, 2011 at 11:46 am

      You must be one of the self-important hipster fucks.

      • IphukdZacksSister

        July 21, 2011 at 6:52 pm

        u mad bro?

      • Lucy

        July 21, 2011 at 6:55 pm

        Ohhhhh – and you must be one of those idiots, charmed.

  • Sam

    July 15, 2011 at 11:31 am

    Vomit. Nicely written, but vomit. To the kids stealing iPads off BART, you go and go fast.

  • dori

    July 15, 2011 at 11:46 am

    ugh. just shoot me if i ever go back to that life.

  • Greg

    July 15, 2011 at 12:03 pm

    I’m sad if this is an accurate depiction of how people are spending their time these days.

  • Kaylene

    July 15, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    This is my life!! Well, sans alcohol. I particularly love this bit: “I’ll look at Sutro Tower. I’ll feel lucky to be paying too much money for a very small apartment, because San Francisco is worth it in these tiny little moments.” This is me, to the core (and the meetings and the Peet’s vs. work coffee). There were actually moments that made me wonder if we work together. ^.^

    Enjoyable, well-written, insightful, and entertaining–this was a great piece and it made my great day all the better.

  • Fatemeh

    July 15, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    Wait, you call your friends?

    I don’t think I’m familiar with this concept.

  • daisy

    July 15, 2011 at 1:24 pm

    Sounds like the life of a guy I know at work.

  • Rebecca Shomair

    July 15, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    This post made my day. Sent to my office list in SF (why not) and have listened to the soundtrack all day. Its made my Friday much more tolerable.
    Thank U!

  • unclefishbits

    July 15, 2011 at 3:48 pm

    You know this sounds like it’s straight out of a modern day Patrick Bateman brain, a la American Pscyho. Incredibly well done.

  • Jeff

    July 15, 2011 at 6:22 pm

    tldr

  • Simone

    July 15, 2011 at 7:00 pm

    This post cracked me up after a particularly bad day. Thank you.

    PS. If you ever get to the bottom of this Robot takeover (possible?) business, let us know.

  • Down10

    July 15, 2011 at 11:18 pm

    Eh. This might be more of a profile of the Modern Shallow Hipster in SF, but it’s solidly from the point of view of a transplant, not a native San Franciscan. For instance, no one who is actually from here has this thought:
    I’ll look at Sutro Tower. I’ll feel lucky to be paying too much money for a very small apartment, because San Francisco is worth it in these tiny little moments.

    It’s a funny, and a nice effort, but it’s myopic to the self-important wankers who populate the Mission than anyone else.

    (SF Native here, fyi)

    • Brian

      July 16, 2011 at 7:52 am

      The only thing worse than this article is a “SF Native” copping attitude like they are king shi@t. GET OVER YOURSELF, no one cares that you had the misfortune to live here your whole life!!!

  • Lynne

    July 15, 2011 at 11:37 pm

    Too funny–this was fantastic. It actually describes nearly every techno-hipster creative type out there (self included :). It’s as applicable to Vancouver as it is San Francisco. I laugh at the ridiculousness of my life every day, believe me :)

  • Phil

    July 16, 2011 at 1:50 am

    Are you a native San Franciscan? Or are you some p0ser transplant?

  • jay

    July 16, 2011 at 8:56 am

    so good. had to post this link on my buddy’s FB page who lives in SF. meanwhile, after asking if he did buy the shoulder guard, i’m looking at his wall, haha this is great …

    “what’s so cool about Spotify when we already have GrooveShark.com? I’m confused.”

    “As of now, I think that Spotify is more user friendly and much faster. I like the facebook connect as well. My friend has been using spotify in England for awhile and has nothing but great things to say about it. I’ve dedicated about an hour to it today. I guess it’s just a hobby. Dude – let’s get a drink soon.”

    from the horse’s mouth! lolol (see: visiting every social networking site known to man and always hungover, thanks drew :)

  • victor

    July 16, 2011 at 12:03 pm

    eh…

  • Tony

    July 16, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    After this post I’m immediatly started following you on Twitter… and Facebook…

    Mostly so I can retweet your funny jokes to my friends. Thanks for making me cooler!

  • Joost Schuur

    July 16, 2011 at 11:11 pm

    Why aren’t you checking Google+? What the hell is wrong with you?!

  • Mike Behnken

    July 17, 2011 at 1:23 am

    BRB checking my twitter & facebook

  • Zuhair

    July 17, 2011 at 5:47 am

    I landed here by chance and WOW what have i just found … is wonderful … seems like my life as an IT guy here at my city.

    Made my day. Thanks drew.

    Will be checking more posts.

    ChaO !

  • Lea

    July 18, 2011 at 10:18 am

    This was a great read to jumpstart my Monday- so.freaking.true!!!

  • Brendan

    July 18, 2011 at 10:38 am

    It’s cute how Americans confuse the word “freezing” and “very warm”.

  • Scott

    July 18, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    I’ve seen this guy in Cambridge, MA. Or maybe it’s his twin?

    I’d really love to steal their iphones sometime and watch them all have panic attacks.

  • SF Native

    July 18, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    This doesn’t describe people who were actually born here. It’s a picture of a desperate transplant– a specific demographic, not the average “modern San Franciscan.”

  • SF Native

    July 18, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    I’d love to hear a spoof of San Franciscan life! This isn’t it though.

    • daisy

      July 20, 2011 at 2:28 pm

      Well I think it starts with something like:

      “I troll the Internet for people who write about San Francisco.

      I leave a comment scoffing at their well-written banter. This is because I don’t understand things like sarcasm.

      Then I open the latest issue of 7×7 and lament the fact that, once again, I’m not featured in any of the party photos.

      But at least, I tell myself, I am a NATIVE SAN FRANCISCO. And therefore, completely superior.”

  • roger clark

    July 18, 2011 at 5:25 pm

    this post is a vapid and unfunny distillation of the most common SF tech hipster stereotype jokes. it’s almost like you read about these kinds of people on other blogs and paraphrased them all, but left out any part of it that may have actually been funny

    how can you honestly make jokes about how dumb it is that people broadcast their eating habits on twitter without feeling completely unoriginal?

    reading this post was like watching an episode of portlandia, minus all the jokes

    • Zack

      July 19, 2011 at 11:43 am

      @ roger clark–PRECISELY. Thank you.

      • roger clark

        July 19, 2011 at 12:33 pm

        no problem, buddy

    • John

      July 28, 2011 at 10:41 pm

      Who crapped in this guy’s Cheerios?

  • Nick Jorgensen

    July 18, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    “I’ll do a little more work. I will send emails. I will read a pdf or two.

    I check Twitter.

    I check Facebook.”
    This almost scans like Eliot’s “…Prufrock.” Fabulous.

  • Brandon

    July 18, 2011 at 11:25 pm

    You’re kinda like Holden Caulfield with an iPhone. (Look at all the phonies!)

  • Zack

    July 19, 2011 at 11:41 am

    *Pukes, writhes in agony* Fuck you and your self-indulgent nonsense. Was this meant to be “ironic”? NOBODY CARES.

  • thanks

    July 19, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    this should be called ‘a day in the life of a gentrifying transplant’. not to demonize this little bubble of our population, but to broadly label this as a ‘san franciscan’ is to completely ignore the majority populace of a very diverse city. which i guess is the way many of these folks live anyways.

  • AntiT

    July 19, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    I post completely inane and unfounded drivel on the internet because for some reason I think people actually care about my poorly communicated opinion that shows I’ve never read a Douglas Coupland novel or probably any novel that wasn’t by George R R Martin for that matter, and I have no idea how fucking dreadful I’m being. – a druber far more capable of self-assessment than the real one

  • Bam

    July 20, 2011 at 2:02 am

    SF is an overrated shithole.
    Yuck!!!

  • Fredo

    July 20, 2011 at 3:44 am

    Alright, I checked Twitter, but who the hell is this “Facebook” guy??

  • Tanner Christensen

    July 20, 2011 at 9:53 am

    Now I want to move to San Fran. Did you write this with that intent? Now I’m going to Tweet this and share it on Facebook.

  • beci

    July 20, 2011 at 11:08 am

    Love.

  • Christina

    July 21, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    Ooof. Why are people getting so mad? I’m an SFer myself, and while this doesn’t totally look like my average day– I’m not gunna get all pissy about it. I think this type of guy (the author) might not be like everyone in SF (natives, for example?) but there are more people like this here in SF than in other cities, at least percentage wise. It’s a culture of this city. It’s not everyone obviously, but it’s certainly prevalent enough for it to be labeled San Franciscan.
    I thought this post was hilarious.
    Mine is: Check Gmail. Check Facebook. Check Google +… yeah, there’s still no one on there. Haha. Thanks for the chuckle mr blog poster man.

  • Greg

    July 21, 2011 at 6:21 pm

    I think the issue most commenters have is not with the description so much as with the post itself. It is little more than a copy and paste of hundreds of blogs before it. No new observations have been made, nothing clever has been written. The author has merely strung together the same cliches we’ve seen countless times before, but tried to pass them off as both original and profound.

    • Christina

      July 21, 2011 at 6:33 pm

      I’ve not ready anything like this, honestly.

    • roger clark

      July 21, 2011 at 6:40 pm

      yep. plus the author obviously loves being the person he describes in his post, which is all the more disgusting

  • doowaditty

    July 26, 2011 at 4:17 pm

    lol this was hilarious. i moved to sf when i was 2, and have lived here ever since. i’m 29 now. i don’t do a lot of the stuff on here, but the things you wrote about that i do made me laugh at myself. the shit i don’t do i know at least one person that does.

  • bonnie

    July 27, 2011 at 8:29 am

    Gahh this is what I do w/ my life as well. Do you check Tweetdeck or Hootsuite?

  • Someone

    July 28, 2011 at 1:04 am

    I love you long time for this.

  • Martina

    July 28, 2011 at 2:02 pm

    Great post! It made me laugh.

  • Kendra Rae

    July 29, 2011 at 10:37 am

    Thank you for the fantastic read this morning. Just the distraction I was looking for at work, Cheers!

  • Ray

    July 30, 2011 at 3:51 pm

    Dude, seriously, get out of my head!! I think you’re stalking me and writing about my life. I’m going to my Facebook page and Google+ to post that I commented on your blog…

  • Nikki

    August 2, 2011 at 2:56 pm

    Killing me softly with your blog! This IS me… I love this post. My hair actually smells like Cacao Bumble and Bumble right now, I make fun of catch phrases on conference calls all the time like “why don’t we take this offline” and of course… I totally tweeted and facebooked the link to this article immediately. LOL! I am THAT girl. Sigh, what a walking cliche. Gotta have a sense of humor though. Love it.

  • Mike

    August 4, 2011 at 10:22 pm

    Original? Maybe. True? Sure, but not across the board. Funny? Enough.

    The best part is all of you bitter, cranky people complaining about how bad it sucks here or struggling to hide your jealousy towards the so-labeled “vapid” privileged. If home was better, might as well move back. If your work ethic is so superior, earn some of that privilege for yourself.

  • Brett

    August 9, 2011 at 3:48 pm

    YES

  • Silvie

    August 15, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    This is hilarious. I love it. So right on :)

  • Maciek

    August 19, 2011 at 1:28 am

    That’s how „American Startup Psycho” is born.

  • Philip

    August 19, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    Read Bret Easton Ellis much?

  • Laran Evans

    August 19, 2011 at 2:09 pm

    Ironic is the new normal. Loved the post.

  • KristofferR

    August 19, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    This post was good, but I actually think the responses here and in the comments on the site are way more fascinating!

    I read the post as a genuine description of a normal day for Drew. Not as a bitter or sarcastic post making fun of hipsters, just a description of events in a normal day for Drew. Judging by the rest of the blog I’d call Drew a genuine hipster (unless the whole blog is satire) and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I simply don’t understand what people have against them.

    This post, accidentially, made my think about the pointlessness of living, but not in a negative way at all. We are born, live our lives and then we die. After we die, nothing, except for some memories in the brains of people you knew, is left. After the people who have the memories die, nothing is left of you and your life except from history.

    Granted, a few people change the world in a measurable way, but they’re the 0.00001% group of people who do. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being in the group of the 99.99999%.

    Life is pointless except from the meaning we get from it. Since the meaning of life is to enjoy it, who’s to say that this guy isn’t living life correctly?

  • Spottiness

    August 19, 2011 at 4:10 pm

    For some reason Catcher in the Rye came to my mind while reading this. A gayish Holden Caulfield… BTW, are you gay?

  • Tom Robinson

    August 20, 2011 at 1:59 am

    This hit too close to home: http://yfrog.com/h0my5pdj

  • Cokedick

    August 21, 2011 at 9:02 am

    I’m usually not the guy to be a grammar nazi in the comments, but today I’m going to be part of the problem. Mutually exclusive means that two events can’t occur at the same time, or can have no impact on each other.

    It would be great if it was impossible for someone to be homeless and a drug addict, but where’s the fun in that? It is hipster-ish to use this the wrong way, so bravo!

  • bert

    August 24, 2011 at 7:17 am

    Everything’s on point except I take my fixed gear bike to work, wearing my bern helmet and my U lock in my back pocket. I roll up my right pant leg and I’m ready to go. I avoid all of the horrible pot holes on Market Street, and try to “roll through” all of the stop lights. I stop by the ferry building’s farmers market for my $5.00 drip blue bottle coffee for my morning fix. I make sure to sort my lid, cup, and stirrer into the compost, recycle, and trash bins.

    • kelly4nia

      August 24, 2011 at 9:57 am

      you’re so close but no self-respecting hipster would hit up Blue Bottle anymore, it’s too chain. We’re all about going a bit out of the way for a cup of Ritual from the Mission. And carry our to-go cup in a custom metal cup holder on our trick/bullhorn bars.

  • Mike

    October 11, 2011 at 11:45 am

    God, could you be more self-obsessed?

  • Devin Grant

    December 29, 2011 at 1:03 pm

    A day in the life? More like a day in the world. S.F. seems to be a microcasm(sic) of every metropolitan city in the world. Just so happens that the city by the bay resides on a hill where the inhabitants can come and go as they please.

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  • Anhedonia

    March 13, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    You might want to look up the definition of “mutually exclusive.”

  • Allen

    March 14, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    This is what people who weren’t born in SF do, but what people from other cities come and do because that’s what they think people who are true San Franciscans do. Unfortunately, this is so far from a true San Franciscan’s life. Follow me on twitter if you really want to know. ;)

  • eric

    March 26, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    nice read, you might be interested in an art / tech project I just launched called @icheckafter, which asks people to list one thing they do in the morning before they check their digital device: https://twitter.com/#!/icheckafter

    Thanks for looking,

    Eric

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  • Naksha

    July 17, 2012 at 10:40 pm

    Amazing blog Drew! Awesome writing…it just reads so well! Very relatable (p.s. though am in India) and endearingly mundane :) gr8 goin!

  • Martin

    April 26, 2013 at 11:27 am

    Funny.. I moved to China in 2008 and lived here ever since. All social websites are blocked here so I never had a chance to take part in such activities, neither do I understand them. Its funny to read news from the western world.

  • Anthony Alfidi

    July 12, 2013 at 7:48 pm

    I’ve lived in San Francisco since 2004 and I’ve never acted this way. I may be hanging out with the wrong people, or maybe I don’t read 7×7 regularly enough to grok the City vibe I’m supposed to be grokking. I can’t relate to the casual approach to work, tech, money, and image that must be common among people who’ve had everything handed to them their entire lives. Enjoy it while it lasts, San Francisco.

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