He’s Single. Don’t Act Like You’re Not Impressed.

So Lesley and Jeff (Lesley being my best friend from growing up, Jeff being “that guy she married who actually turned out to be rad”) have a dog named Dexter. Dexter, at the ripe age of ONE, is basically the equivalent of a 86 year old man with asthma and a horrible gas problem. It can be awkward, but he’s lovable. And yeah, I’m posting about a dog. I fucking hate myself too.

These pictures are in no way doctored. And if you doctored pictures of a dog’s dick…well that’s like Mickey Rourke twelve years from now levels of creepy.

I don’t think any stereotype can compete with this thing. I mean, it must be exhausting to carry that thing around. Also, that is him ASLEEP and rocking that. Honestly. Lesley. Jeff. Get that guy laid.

Do you think he talks shit on walks? Goes into dog locker rooms and looks at poodles and goes, “Yeah. That’s real, fellas. Take a good look.” I mean. Good God.

(I am sorry for what you are about to see. But I can’t keep this to myself)

Oh. My. God

Oh. My. God.

Oh. My. God.


    Share the rocket.

Leave a Comment

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Kim August 20, 2009 at 5:51 pm

Holy balls, Drew. Well, holy…yeah. Wow. I don’t know what’s worse – taking pictures or posting them on your blog.

Reply

Amanda August 20, 2009 at 5:52 pm

My eyes can not un-see that.

You’ll be getting the bill from my therapist.

Reply

Lesley August 20, 2009 at 5:55 pm

I am so proud of my dog. He really does like to show that thing off. He’s single if anyone is interested.

Reply

Erin August 20, 2009 at 6:00 pm

By the way, you realize they call these things “red rockets” right Rocket Shoes?

Reply

Larry August 21, 2009 at 11:43 am

God.

Reply

Dexter August 21, 2009 at 6:28 pm

Just call me big poppa…

Reply

boyshapedbox August 24, 2009 at 5:58 pm

It looks like when you microwave a corndog and the breading falls off the top.

Reply

Jessica October 16, 2011 at 10:39 pm

Ohmygod I laughed at that analogy for a full two and a half minutes. Thank you.

Reply

meredith August 27, 2009 at 3:40 pm

Dex is too cute. He seems very proud. I have a boxer named dexter and he has a very mini version that I nicknamed the pink lady. Congratulations.

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