Rocket Shoes

My favorite TV shows have always been iterations of The Real World or Road Rules.

The draw was always simple: it always seemed too good to be true.

The Real World was basically pretty cool until you grew up and actually experienced the real world. It's great to imagine that when I was to turn 18, I'd live in a W Hotel suite and my roommates would all be fascinatingly attractive people who were either gay, black, or white but with an open mind. Turns out if they aired a real episode of The Real World, you'd see one guy in a Holiday Inn kinda bummed that no one told him to major in anything but "communications." They did get one part of The Real World right, though: everyone is, for the most part, usually drunk, in a fight with a significant other because it turns out they're attracted to the 98% of the world they didn't meet in High School, and feel like their life is a soap opera people want to watch.

Road Rules was always the clincher for me. For some reason, the idea of living in a car has been some odd idealist dream for me. Sure, it's odd that my dream was to be a hobo, but there's something about the idea of never growing up and putting your apartment in drive when you wake up that's oddly fascinating. Everyone wants their life to be a car that just moves on when they're bored: turns out the real world doesn't really accommodate that with that "bills" shit. But this is where Road Rules was amazing: you take the concept of The Real World and apply it to the Narnia "what if my life was just one big perpetual road trip" mentality. That and I was in love with Kit from the first season.

A few months ago, my boss asked me if I'd like to be a hobo for a month. For work. With three other outrageously interesting people. And if I'd like to write about it in the process and/or be the coffee bitch. And I think I thought it was a joke.

But. Turns out it wasn't.

So hey. Guess what. It's like high school Drew got to dictate his late 20's life and is getting an opportunity to be in a bizarro season of Road Rules. Starting Saturday, I'm getting the opportunity to lug an airstream trailer across America to talk to people and take pictures with them. It's still unclear to me if my boss is a unicorn and whether or not I was on mescaline (or still am) when he proposed such shenanigans, but I guess the mescaline trip starts on Saturday and ends in June sometime.

The cast is as follows.

An Australian I haven't met yet who's really nice on the phone. A director who's very hip that every woman on the planet is attracted to and a guy who everyone at work calls "the beast." Basically...I'm not sure this is real life yet.

But i'll let you know the details once I'm off.

I'm about to drive across America in a f%*king airstream trailer. I think this is the equivalent to checking the "I want to be a fireman" box when I grow up and someone saying, "how about an astronaut instead?"

And being an astronaut sounds pretty nifty.

Don't ever let me complain about anything ever again.

(spoiler alert: I will.)

Rocket Shoes Mixtape 45: If life is Jeopardy, I just selected "Shut the f*%k up" For One Billion.

Stream the whole thing at the link up top.

Or.

Download the whole thing in little mp3′s right here.

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15 COMMENTS ON THIS POST To “If life is Jeopardy, I just selected “Shut the f*%k up” For One Billion.”

  • lindol fench

    April 26, 2011 at 9:52 pm

    That is phenomenal, congrats man. I did almost exactly that, but paid for it myself. That’s the dream. I did 140 days in ’09, 22,000 miles, 36 states. Let me know if you want any advice about routes. . . or a copilot/navigator. (just kidding. Not really).
    Facebook invited me to their offices to do a “Facebook Stories” about the trip-
    http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1298475780706
    You can also check out my photojournals from the trip if you’d like, there are close to 70 of them, most all the pictures come with commentary.
    http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=706927495

    Cheers buddy, happy travels.

  • Tanya

    April 26, 2011 at 9:58 pm

    I once did a road trip in an old RV with a boyfriend and a dog. For a year.

    Best.
    Year.
    EVER!!

    People in this country can astound you, often in good ways. I basically came away with the feeling that folks are basically decent.

    Enjoy, and write your ass off.

  • Trish

    April 26, 2011 at 10:21 pm

    F%CKING AWESOME!!!!

  • Emily

    April 27, 2011 at 7:20 am

    If you go through New Mexico and start seeing signs to visit “The Thing,” please stop and do it. One of the best random stops I made when driving cross country. Just don’t google it, you’ll ruin the awesome $2 entrance fee.

  • Sharron

    April 27, 2011 at 10:09 am

    That is so cool. I wish I had your boss instead, I cannot wait to read all about it – happy travels!

  • Sarah

    April 27, 2011 at 3:49 pm

    You must – *must* – make a stop in Park City, UT on your way back West. the landscape through Utah is really stunning in a unique way, and once Park City mountain’s snow has cleared, it turns into an Adventure Park. Alpine slides + Zipline + Alpine *coaster*? = Biggest Fun Ever. Also, says this transplanted (Upper) Michigander, you owe it to yourself to go through my childhood rite of passage of braving / swimming in the 45-50 degree waters (yes, really) of Lake Superior. If you’re lucky, you may catch a glimpse of the hypnotically beautiful Northern Lights / Aurora Borealis.

    the phrase “enjoy yourself” has never before seemed so redundant.

  • daisy

    April 27, 2011 at 4:19 pm

    I must really like you because if this happened to any of my other friends, I’d totally be like, “That bitch.” Instead, I’m just genuinely stoked for you. (Don’t tell anyone.)

  • Dave Sigismund

    April 27, 2011 at 4:23 pm

    Drew,

    I recommend visiting one of several “gravity hills” in California. These are places where you can put the RV in neutral and roll uphill! Very mysterious. There is one in Los Angles called “Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride” and its start off of Loma Alta Drive, the 12oo block, between Rubio Crest Drive and Sunny Oak Circle…

  • twoeightnine

    April 28, 2011 at 3:04 pm

    I do this every summer and have for the past few years. Someone actually pays me to drive a bunch of drunk Europeans around the country, taking them camping and pretending to know the answers to all of their questions. I’ve got about 75,000 miles under my belt. So if you need any advice I’ll only charge you a few bucks.

  • Garnet

    April 29, 2011 at 6:54 am

    HOLY HELL! Awesome! Congratulations, this is so exciting!!

  • zosephine

    May 3, 2011 at 11:29 am

    supes jealous. my friend and i always wanted to get a metallic purple airstream, and drive around to different towns as part of some zany touring bowling team!

  • MelB

    May 3, 2011 at 9:30 pm

    This sounds so cool!!! Enjoy. I can’t wait to read of your adventures.

  • lis

    May 5, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    luckyluckylucky you.

    ps i still come here like once a day for music. excited to see how the cross-country journey inspires your taste!

  • Jon

    May 12, 2011 at 9:31 am

    I found your blog on complete accident, I’m doing a photography project and i was looking for actual rocket shoes and I found your blog. Now I read these in class all the time.

  • Linda

    May 18, 2011 at 9:43 am

    I looove that you are doing this. At 55 I have passed up way too many adventures. Thanks for reminding me to take chances. . . . again. I’m just bummed that I just read about this and you have already gone thru Arizona.

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