wow

April 4, 2011 · 20 comments

The Time I Cried At A Strip Club.

So I cried at a strip club this one time. Let’s start from the top. Breakups are pretty horrible. I think anyone who’s ever liked anyone can attest to this fact. When you get dumped, it feels like an amalgamation of: – Not getting picked for “fill in the blank” team sport in middle school. ...

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August 20, 2009 · 9 comments

He’s Single. Don’t Act Like You’re Not Impressed.

So Lesley and Jeff (Lesley being my best friend from growing up, Jeff being “that guy she married who actually turned out to be rad”) have a dog named Dexter. Dexter, at the ripe age of ONE, is basically the equivalent of a 86 year old man with asthma and a horrible gas problem. It ...

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July 30, 2009 · 1 comment

If You Can’t Play Sports, Beat Your Mom At Solitaire

Are you there, dignity? It’s me, Drew. I promise I will go outside now and this is the last you will ever hear of solitaire. Yes, I took a screen capture of my phone after beating my mother’s solitaire time. Yes, I talk to girls. Yes, this is the most pathetic thing I will ever ...

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January 12, 2009 · 2 comments

Please Look In The Mirror and Punch Yourself In The Face (your actual face, not the mirror)

I’ve written about my hatred for the bluetooth takeover going on around the world. Honestly, when I see people with bluetooth headsets, I want to call them mean names in the street and tell them that while it may seem like it’s the year 2020 and we should all wear devices that can shoot lasers ...

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